Trevor Noah Thinks the G.O.P. Needs a Different Sales Pitch
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Extremely Loud and Incredibly False
Late-night hosts continued to follow the Republican National Convention on Tuesday, focusing on what they considered some revisionist history (and a high-volume speech by Kimberly Guilfoyle, a Trump campaign fund-raiser and girlfriend of Donald Trump Jr.).
“I thought it was going to be tough for Donald Trump to sell himself for another four years. I mean, mostly because, you know, we live in a plague-scarred hellscape where 180,000 people have died and we can’t go to a movie or hug our grandparents,” Noah said. “But then I watched the convention, and, guys, it turns out that Donald Trump has actually done a really good job by preventing all of that from happening.”
“First of all, I want to wish a speedy recovery to anyone who was listening on headphones. I’m praying for you. And I guess we found the one person who actually signed up for Rudy Giuliani’s master class.” — TREVOR NOAH
“And aside from the speech being so loud Canada called the cops, the actual content was also ridiculous. ‘Donald Trump believes in me’? The dude also believes in Kim Jong-un and hydroxychloroquine. I don’t want to be in that group.” — TREVOR NOAH
The Punchiest Punchlines (Jerry Falwell Edition)
One of President Trump’s biggest evangelical supporters, Jerry Falwell Jr., resigned as president of Liberty University after a former pool attendant said he’d frequently had sex with Falwell’s wife while he looked on.
“Let’s start off with this: What consensual adults do in their sex life is up to them, and I don’t judge anybody for anything. You do whatever tickles your exposed fly. But Falwell has made it his business to judge what everyone else is doing with their sex lives. He speaks out against gay relationships, and until just five years ago, students at his university weren’t allowed to do anything beyond holding hands or even watch R-rated movies. Meanwhile, he’s apparently letting this pool boy check his wife’s chlorination levels.” — TREVOR NOAH
“Listen, I am not here to kink-shame. I believe whatever happens between consenting adults is perfectly fine, and I believe Jerry Falwell Jr. wants to watch them from the corner of the room.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“While carrying on with this pool boy, Falwell was still president of a university whose code of conduct says, ‘Sexual relations outside of a biblically ordained marriage between a natural-born man and a natural-born woman are not permissible at Liberty University.’ But they’re clearly forgetting the biblical story of Adam and Eve, and Kevin who watched from the tree.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Again, I’m not looking to judge or shame someone else’s consenting sexual encounters — that’s Falwell’s job.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Bits Worth Watching
The “Late Late Show” guests Fred Armisen and Maya Rudolph played a game of “Name That Tune” with James Corden.
What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night
The Emmy nominee Tracee Ellis Ross will drop by Wednesday’s “Late Late Show.”